How to Disciple Your Children at Every Age

“Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”
(Jeremiah 17:7-8)

Deep roots are important.

And raising kids with deep roots of faith is important.

Why? Because no matter how much we want to protect our kids, dry spells are coming. Life is inevitably hard.

Will their faith be deep enough and strong enough to weather the storms? Or will it wither and fade?

While there are definitely no guarantees in parenting, no absolutes, no formulas, there are some things that parents can do along the way to make sure their children have the best environment for developing deep roots of faith that anchor them and nourish them.

Here are some concrete ways you can disciple your children at each developmental stage:

How to Disciple Your Children During the Awareness Years

(infancy to early toddlerhood)

Sing songs about Jesus and the goodness of God
Read colorful Bible board books
Go to church (even if you have to sit in the crying room)
Provide faith-inspired toys (such as a Noah’s arch, toddler friendly nativity, etc)
Tell them God loves them daily
Pray for them and with them

How to Disciple Your Children During the Excitement Years

(toddler to preschool)

Engage in fun hands-on activities and crafts that teach Bible truths and Bible stories
Read Bible picture books
Thank God together at the end of each day
Marvel at His creation around you. Collect bugs, examine flowers, take in the wonders
Claim the mundane (bring God in to everyday conversations)
Listen and dance to worship music
Tell them that God loves them daily
Get them excited about eternity with God
Pray for them and with them

How to Disciple Your Children During the Foundation-Building Years

(early to late elementary)

Hold a regular family prayer time – keep a prayer journal
Discuss what was learned in children’s church or Sunday School
Sponsor a child in need
Participate in service projects together
Make time for short daily devotionals
Read the Bible at night before bed
Practice Bible memory verses together
Use misbehaviors as an opportunity to share the hope of the gospel and the sacrifice of Jesus
Talk about and seek to practice the fruits of the spirit
Play Bible games
Put a Bible verse in their lunchbox
Help them see those around them with Jesus’ eyes (people hurt others because they are hurting – how can we show them love?)
Pray for needs around you as they pop up (an ambulance that passes by, a sick neighbor)
Let them see you read the Bible and pray
Apologize when you mess up
Pray for them and with them

How to Disciple Your Children During the Exploring Years

(middle school)

Encourage questions, find answers together
Ask questions, let them explore answers
Read age-appropriate apologetics (such as Case for Christ series)
Bring faith into real life situations often
Read the Bible together before bed
Ask them how you can pray for them
Continue to do things that create an other-orientation (service projects, helping neighbors)
Consume faith-inspired media together (movies, books, music)
Evaluate the media you consume against the Bible
Make time for weekly family worship (either at church or at home)
Encourage (don’t force) daily devotional time (buy them an age-appropriate devotional Bible)
Have regular discussions about relationship vs. religion; outward obedience vs. heart devotion
Help them get comfortable feeling like a square peg in a world full of round holes
Make sure your talk (of faith) matches your walk (of faith)
Pray for them and with them

How To Disciple Your Children During the Trial Run Years

(high school)

Help them hold decisions up to the cross (Is this for Jesus, against Jesus, or neutral?)
Create a team atmosphere in your home
Bring the Truths of the Bible to bear on the situations they face
Encourage godly relationships and peer groups
Be available and open to hard discussions
Ask probing questions, be genuinely curious
Ask them to back up what they believe with truth. Use the Bible as the standard of truth
Apologize when you mess up
Regularly encourage them to be a light wherever they go
Teach them (by example and instruction) how to love those who believe differently
Encourage them to examine their hearts and their motives
Genuinely ask, “What would Jesus do?”
Use the Bible as a band-aid, not a weapon
Pray for them and with them

How To Disciple Your Children During the Launch Years

(young adult)

Share what God is doing in your life
Encourage and acknowledge the work of God in their lives
Affirm your trust in them and the foundation of faith they have built
Listen to them, love them, and support them
Ask how you can pray for them
Pray for them

Now you may have just finished reading this list and are now feeling overwhelmed (if you have a little one on your lap) or guilty (if your little one now towers over you). Don’t. Have grace and have hope. God can take whatever we have as far as energy, capacity and skill and multiply it for His kingdom work in your children’s lives. Remember the fishes and the loaves? In the hands of Jesus, a little becomes a multitude.

And if you are just getting started on this journey yourself this post can seem like a fire hose of information. You don’t have to do all of this in order to disciple your children. Just pick one thing at a time and focus on that. Grow, explore, and learn together. Invite them to join you on your walk with Jesus.

Did you notice what every stage has in common? Prayer. If you do nothing else, do that. Ask God to mold, shape, and become real to your children. If you want more tips on specific things you can pray for your children, click here.

I’m sure the second I hit “publish,” I will think of more things to add to this list. And I am quite confident that if you are reading this, you have some great ideas of your own that are not here. Please feel free to share in the comments below so we can all grow together.